It’s easy to be all talk.
I mean, don’t you think? It’s so much easier to just say what you should do rather than actually buckling down and doing it, right? So, you’ll be happy to know that I’m not all talk. I actually sat down last week with two pieces of paper and wrote some things down. So I wasn’t all talk. I also did some writing. Next step: DO THE THINGS.But really, progress, friends.
OCD awareness
On one page I wrote “compulsions” and listed some of the things I still do or have starting doing again that are OCD “inspired.” I also realized that some of these things could fall under the topic of “avoidance” (which I will write a blog post about probably next week). After I wrote down these compulsions (and surely it’s not an exhaustive list because… denial…), I grouped them into categories. For me, these categories were hand washing, laundry, wiping/toilet, avoidance, and Internet (usage). Then I thought about it for a bit and did what Dr. Bob did with me when I first went in to see him: I decided which was causing me the most grief/problems so I could try and conquer that issue first.
OCD accountability
On the back of the paper, I made a list of goals. I started with hand washing (just like I did with Dr. Bob). My goals are one soap pump per hand wash and only hand washing after certain occasions (rather than whenever I “feel” I “need” to hand wash). I listed these appropriate occasions.
Then I went down from the list of categories from most annoying/detrimental to my life to least and made goals in each area to “conquer” my compulsions. I also wrote down some “purposeful exposures” to do to address my avoidances in particular.
The most important part of this exercise, of course, is actually following through with the goals and exposures. This is the hard part. I have to stop thinking, “Oh, well, I’ll start that tomorrow (or next time or whenever)” and just do it (or not do it). That’s when you show the OCD that you are serious.
So I’ve been focusing particularly on the hand washing this week, and of course I’m not perfectly winning all the time, but the awareness is back. And that’s so important.
Life, in general
Oh, on the other sheet of paper I wrote goals. Sometimes I get so caught up in the minutiae of life that I kind of forget what I’m doing on the grand scheme of things or what I want to be doing. So much of the time I just live to survive instead of to be happy. So I wrote down goals in categories: physical, kids, writing, mental, church, social, and couple. Under each one I listed some ideas or things I wanted to accomplish or change in those areas. It’s good to do this periodically, I think. It helps me at least to refocus.
So one of the “physical” goals I have is to get into rock climbing. Rock climbing! For real. I tried it on Friday night and at first was like, “oh crap what have I done?” but then I realized that I really like it. It’s a mental type of exercise that keeps your whole body and mind engaged. It’s super hard and rewarding. We’ll see if I last, ha!
How has your week been? Any goals you are getting ready to set in 2017?