A quick review of yesterday: the day started off with my bowing to a compulsion, which of course led to more compulsions. I’ve noticed that when I engage in a compulsion, something often goes wrong and leads me to freak out even more because now an even bigger mess (and more obsessions) has been created.
It related to bathroom contamination and started the day off on a rough foot, but I determined to try and make the rest of the day better. I went around, touching the door handles, and one inside bathroom handle was gross—”goobery” if you will. That threw me off. I didn’t wash, though, and kept going. I didn’t even wash the door handle, though I almost did. My mom “interrupted” me when I was about to later, challenging me to hold out. I did! I even used the computer before washing my hands to make sure I “contaminated” things with the supposed gooberiness.
Powering Through the Day
Overall I did pretty well with my exposures, going to the bathroom, and handwashing (again, I think about 10 times). I helped a friend do some painting—and it involved a lot of brown paint. When I got home, I noticed some tiny brown spots on my shirt. Of course, the OCD challenged me, whispering loudly that it “might” be poop. I kept the shirt on for the rest of the day, even with OCD trying to convince me over and over again that it might not be paint and was something more sinister.
I stayed in the discomfort. I walked outside. I did my normal routine and schedule. I sat on the couch and chairs. I survived another day 🙂